Best lesson ever?

GTA: "Okay, who knows what 'to dispose of' means?"
STUDENT 1: "I know. It's when you throw someone out."
GTA: "SomeONE?"
STUDENT 1: "Oh! Oh, no!" *laughs* "SomeTHING!"
STUDENT 2: "But if it is a dead body, then you are still correct."

I guess I'm actually the pervert

In my 11/12-year olds class:

GIRL 1: NIPPLE!
GTA: What did you say?
GIRL 1: *points*
GTA: Oh...hippo. Not nippo, honey.

Two minutes later...

GIRL2: FUCK!!!!!!!!!
GTA: WHAT?!
GIRL2: Fokk?
GTA: Young lady--
GL2: *points*
GT: Oh. Fox. FOX.

I am mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

SeXXXy

One of my four-year-olds is very taken with me. She always crawls into my lap and, when we play Color Touch, likes to stroke my hair and cry, "Yellow!"

(Maybe I should get a new colorist...)

Today, I learned just HOW taken she is with me. She slid on the floor into my lap and wrapped her arms around me with a giggle. "Awwww," I crooned, "I love you, too!"

As she looked into my face and smiled, she started patting my breasts.

"No, honey."

Thoughtfully, as I disengaged her little hands, she snaked her arm out suddenly, grabbed my left nipple, and yanked it.

That's right, a four-year-old Japanese girl gave me a titty twister.

She did not get any points.

Student Quotes

GTA: "My friend is having a baby!"
STUDENT: "What kind of baby is she going to have?"
GTA: "Errr...you mean, is it a boy or a girl?"
STUDENT: "No." *absolute silence*

...well, I guess it's one of the following, then:

1. Human
2. Caucasian
3. Made of delicious baby meats
4. Not on fire

TYPHOON, MY ASS

This isn't the first time we've been told a typhoon was coming, and it's not the first time we've been told a typhoon was coming and then nothing bleeding happened.

I'm just the tiniest bit bitter (bit bitter! that's fun to say!) because I would have liked a day off to do crap. I have a friend visiting this weekend and piles of decorative stuff lying around that I haven't put up in my four months or so of living in this apartment.

But mostly, I'm sorry that I've lived here just shy of a year and I STILL can't say that I've been through a typhoon, dammit!

Kitsune Udon

I love kitsune udon. It is delicious.



I'm too lazy to find a picture, but it is as such:



Udon noodles

Broth (I know this is probably fish dashi-based, but I try to close my eyes to it)

A big ol' sheet of aburage, which is that thin, sweet tofu you find surrounding the rice in inarizushi.

Typical Japanese noodle house toppings, like green onion, fishcake, seaweed, and occasionally a scattering of tempura batter- without the tofu, and just the tempura, it becomes tanuki udon, because nothing says "RACCOON DOG WITH GIANT MAGICAL BALLS" like pieces of fried batter.



So, okay, kitsune udon is a pretty normal thing. Most noodle houses have it. Sometimes izakaya have it. It is cheap, filling, and relatively vegetarian, and it tastes like awesomeness.



Japanese people like to talk about food. When I tell my students I've been travelling, they immediately ask, "How about the food?" immediately followed by "What did you eat?" It can be boring, but sometimes it sparks interesting discussions about the passage of culture between east and west, or changing tastes in the younger generation, or the popularity of certain cuisines and how it relates to social trends. Or they just sit there listing foods they like while the other students nod and smile, which at least kills time with boring fuckers.



Eventually, they ask me, "What's your favourite Japanese food?" I always answer, "kitsune udon." Their reaction never fails to surprise me.



They SHIT THEMSELVES LAUGHING. They clap their hands and lean back and their teeth positively glow with saliva (and the metal crap used to stick their teeth back in their heads). They tear up and giggle and go "EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?????" like it's going out of style.



Not once have I received an explanation for ths behaviour. One of my Japanese friends told me "well, kitsune udon is really inexpensive," and gave me a confused look.



Maybe I'm the asshole here.