The Facetiously-Answered Questions! (That's FAQ, people)

Updated when and where I see fit.


When do you start?
November.

Cool; what company do you work for?
I don't think it's a good idea to come out and say that. If my company was really invested in finding this blog, I'm sure they could. I haven't actually started yet, so all I have to say is YAAAAAY FOR [MY COMPANY]!

Fine, loser. Where are you going to be working? Can you at least tell me that?
Kanto.

WHERE in Kanto?
Dunno yet.

GOD!
Well, sor-reeeee.

So, you were an English major? Or Asian Studies?
Physical anthro and history double-major.

Way to use those areas of expertise.
Hey, if someone dies in the apartment next door, I'll be able to figure out how. Then I'll get really famous and have a TV show called "SUPER CRIME-STOP GAIJIN!" where I solve mysteries and then do really inexplicable ads for sandwiches.

Wow, I would totally watch that.
Of course you would.

Was it hard getting the eikaiwa job?
Kind of. There was a lot of preparation involved- I spent hours reading about others peoples' interview experiences and the various "Dos and Don'ts" lists that invariably followed them. A lot of forum-reading and logging in major hours at eslcafe. I also made a really shitty poster about different jobs that may or may not have had a picture of a Nazi on it.

Seriously?
Well, no...it just kind of looked like one.

How many places did you interview at?
In terms of companies, three. In terms of countries, four.

Can you tell me about your interview experience with ______?
I'm only equipped to discuss the details of three major eikaiwa: AEON, ECC, and Berlitz. If you ask about one of them, I can be more specific, but I'll be happy to give general tips to anyone who asks.

I heard this thing about NOVA and--
I know as much about NOVA as any uninformed observer. Please don't ask me about it; all I can do is point you to a handful of helpful articles. I do not teach for them and I don't know anyone who has. This may change once I'm fully entrenched in the eikaiwa world.

What does your blog name mean?
Back in the Dark Ages (1998-9ish) when I actually read manga, one that I liked was Great Teacher Onizuka.

....and?
Sorry, Blogger fucked up. Anyways, the plot of GTO is about a guy who becomes a teacher in order to shag underaged girls, but eventually ends up helping kids instead through his wacky "street" methods. My name is Anna. I felt punny.

So you're gonna nampa.
NO, dammit.

What does "nampa" mean?
Extrapolate from the context.

You're a poop.
Well, I can't argue with that one.

"To die will be a very great adventure." J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

The thing I hear most from other people about this whole "going to Japan to teach English" thing is, "Oh, I wish I could do something like that." Being the persistently-helpful asshole I am, I immediately offer a laundry list of people and companies to contact, only to be met with a whole slew of excuses: need to save money, don't want to break up with my boyfriend, can't abandon my pet goldfish, etc.

Well, there's always a reason not to do something. Me, I only have reasons to go to Japan. Let me explain:

I was born in the US and lived most of my life there, but went to Canada for university. In my second year, my parents decide out of the blue to pack up our shit and move to Abu Dhabi, a fairly esoteric choice. What's a girl to do straight out of school when she can't even flop at Mom and Dad's and work a shitty temp job?

I'm no weeaboo. Sure, I had an anime period when I was in eighth grade or so, but I don't really watch the stuff. I do still listen to J-Rock, but everything I like is hopelessly outdated (I like to pretend Malice Mizer never folded), and every time I hear Gwen Stefani squeal about Harajuku, I feel vaguely ill. I don't speak Japanese. I don't cosplay. I don't even eat fish.

You might very well be asking, then, "why Japan?" Well, Steve- I can call you Steve, can't I?- I love Japanese history and culture. It's fascinating. I have an anthropological interest in sex workers, and Japan is nothing if not a neon candyland of crazy poon. I'm also very interested in geisha. And Shintoism. And trains. And very small trees. And going to the store and buying a small luxury item and having it wrapped in no less than three bags, plus tissue paper. Maybe I'm not the average eikaiwa drone; I don't really know. All I know is that Japan feels right for me, right for now.

I'm leaving for Japan at the end of October, and until that point, I'm in limbo. I figured that, in between puttering around the US-Canada border and selling my old possessions on eBay in order to make beer money, I might as well do something vaguely constructive. Hence, this blog. Vamonos.

Test post

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