One of my troublesome 3-year-olds has started calling me "okaasan." Yes, this IS right before she grabs my tits.
1. Your mom is outside the classroom, staring daggers at me through the plate glass window. If you cannot tell which of us gave birth to you, please refer to the following checklist:
Does the woman have a mullet?
Is the woman Japanese?
Does the woman bear a strong resemblance to an angry hedgehog?
If you have checked "yes" to ay of these questions, congratulations! I am not your mom!
2. Dude, your twin sister doesn't have the same maternal identity issues.
3. ...okay, don't stop, it's cute.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Blood in the Boardroom
I told the kid that if he kept running, he would hurt himself.
He stuck his tongue out and kept running.
What do you know, he tripped and bumped his face and his nose started gushing blood!
Despite tissue packets being even more rampant than swine flu in Tokyo, guess what ended up staunching his sanguinous nostril waterfall?
If you guessed "GTA's nice sweater from Zara that was soooo not on sale," you're right.
He stuck his tongue out and kept running.
What do you know, he tripped and bumped his face and his nose started gushing blood!
Despite tissue packets being even more rampant than swine flu in Tokyo, guess what ended up staunching his sanguinous nostril waterfall?
If you guessed "GTA's nice sweater from Zara that was soooo not on sale," you're right.
A Serious Post
Guys, I have become mildly worried about some of the comments on this blog (for people reading this on Facebook, my "notes" are published from http://greatteacherannazuka.blogspot.com ).
Obviously, I understand the need for catharsis. Japan drives me batshit 99999.999999% of the time. Not always bad batshit, but it's easy to carry on a persistant, low-grade infection of frustration when you can't read what's written, can't understand what you hear, can't fit your tits in any top, and can't eat the food 80% of the time. That's one of the reason I started this blog, besides the fact that my kids are so cute that it hurts and I love mochi so much I want to marry it.
However, I would like to state that the staff here at Great Teacher Annazuka (myself, this can of beer, and Carl, this adorable stuffed penguin I bought at Daiso) neither support nor claim any responsibility for any and all comments left in response to posts on this blog.
gozaimaaaaaaaaaaassssu....
Obviously, I understand the need for catharsis. Japan drives me batshit 99999.999999% of the time. Not always bad batshit, but it's easy to carry on a persistant, low-grade infection of frustration when you can't read what's written, can't understand what you hear, can't fit your tits in any top, and can't eat the food 80% of the time. That's one of the reason I started this blog, besides the fact that my kids are so cute that it hurts and I love mochi so much I want to marry it.
However, I would like to state that the staff here at Great Teacher Annazuka (myself, this can of beer, and Carl, this adorable stuffed penguin I bought at Daiso) neither support nor claim any responsibility for any and all comments left in response to posts on this blog.
gozaimaaaaaaaaaaassssu....
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Best lesson ever?
GTA: "Okay, who knows what 'to dispose of' means?"
STUDENT 1: "I know. It's when you throw someone out."
GTA: "SomeONE?"
STUDENT 1: "Oh! Oh, no!" *laughs* "SomeTHING!"
STUDENT 2: "But if it is a dead body, then you are still correct."
STUDENT 1: "I know. It's when you throw someone out."
GTA: "SomeONE?"
STUDENT 1: "Oh! Oh, no!" *laughs* "SomeTHING!"
STUDENT 2: "But if it is a dead body, then you are still correct."
I guess I'm actually the pervert
In my 11/12-year olds class:
GIRL 1: NIPPLE!
GTA: What did you say?
GIRL 1: *points*
GTA: Oh...hippo. Not nippo, honey.
Two minutes later...
GIRL2: FUCK!!!!!!!!!
GTA: WHAT?!
GIRL2: Fokk?
GTA: Young lady--
GL2: *points*
GT: Oh. Fox. FOX.
I am mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
GIRL 1: NIPPLE!
GTA: What did you say?
GIRL 1: *points*
GTA: Oh...hippo. Not nippo, honey.
Two minutes later...
GIRL2: FUCK!!!!!!!!!
GTA: WHAT?!
GIRL2: Fokk?
GTA: Young lady--
GL2: *points*
GT: Oh. Fox. FOX.
I am mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
SeXXXy
One of my four-year-olds is very taken with me. She always crawls into my lap and, when we play Color Touch, likes to stroke my hair and cry, "Yellow!"
(Maybe I should get a new colorist...)
Today, I learned just HOW taken she is with me. She slid on the floor into my lap and wrapped her arms around me with a giggle. "Awwww," I crooned, "I love you, too!"
As she looked into my face and smiled, she started patting my breasts.
"No, honey."
Thoughtfully, as I disengaged her little hands, she snaked her arm out suddenly, grabbed my left nipple, and yanked it.
That's right, a four-year-old Japanese girl gave me a titty twister.
She did not get any points.
(Maybe I should get a new colorist...)
Today, I learned just HOW taken she is with me. She slid on the floor into my lap and wrapped her arms around me with a giggle. "Awwww," I crooned, "I love you, too!"
As she looked into my face and smiled, she started patting my breasts.
"No, honey."
Thoughtfully, as I disengaged her little hands, she snaked her arm out suddenly, grabbed my left nipple, and yanked it.
That's right, a four-year-old Japanese girl gave me a titty twister.
She did not get any points.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Student Quotes
GTA: "My friend is having a baby!"
STUDENT: "What kind of baby is she going to have?"
GTA: "Errr...you mean, is it a boy or a girl?"
STUDENT: "No." *absolute silence*
...well, I guess it's one of the following, then:
1. Human
2. Caucasian
3. Made of delicious baby meats
4. Not on fire
STUDENT: "What kind of baby is she going to have?"
GTA: "Errr...you mean, is it a boy or a girl?"
STUDENT: "No." *absolute silence*
...well, I guess it's one of the following, then:
1. Human
2. Caucasian
3. Made of delicious baby meats
4. Not on fire
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